Bipolar has been very low on my list of concerns lately. My biggest concern has been what fly to tie onto the end of my line. I’ve been in my favorite place in the whole world, Dutch John, UT, guiding and fly fishing the Green River below Flaming Gorge Reservoir. There has been some family stress, but that has been manageable. It’s been a great experience being back on the river. I’m fly fishing more than I have in a very long time. It’s been good for my soul. But I’ve also started to forget how important my medications are and how dangerous my disease is. I’ve missed a couple of doses and had to wake up in the middle of the night to take my pills because I forgot to take them. I’m sleeping well. A minimum of 8 hours a night. I go to bed early. I’m getting a ton of exercise and sunlight. I’m following my rules for bipolar management, but I’m losing the fear of bipolar. It’s a good thing in some ways, but very bad in others. I’m not stressing about it, but I’m also not stressing it. Complacency has gotten me into trouble in the past. I just need to get back into a healthy routine and always remember the tragedy my life is without meds and professional care. 

Back to the fly fishing… the dry fly fishing has been phenomenal! We had cicadas when I first got to the Green. Now they are on the wane, and the fish are keying on caddis, yellow sallies, and pmds. Those are all different types of flies. There is nothing like a fish rising to a dry fly; it’s an amazing experience, and it doesn’t get old. It’s a rush of adrenaline, and yet you have to remain calm and wait until they eat it to set the hook. There’s nothing like it in the whole world. I love it. 

I’m going to redouble my efforts to keep my recovery progress. I will follow my rules of recovery. I will continue to take my meds religiously. I will continue to have fun, but I will also remain diligent in my treatment.