Gratitude is very important to both my recovery from alcohol and bipolar disorder. It’s important to anyone who wants a satisfying life. The studies show it improves anxiety, depression, negative thinking, and happiness. I think it can help my mania too when it gets dysphoric. Mania is not happiness. Hypomania is closer to happiness, but still has a dark side. I struggle to stay grateful. Which is why I’m writing about it. 

When I get very depressed or manic, it’s hard to remain in gratitude. And maybe losing gratitude is partly to blame for the mania or depressive episode. I think it’s a lot like the other symptoms/causes of bipolar, it spirals, a decrease in gratitude makes me more depressed, more depression makes me more ungrateful, which leads to more depression, etc. The same goes for mania. That being said, I think depression is more prone to ungratefulness. 

Things I’m doing now to be more grateful are:

• At night, when I log my moods and daily activities, I write the best of the day. Some days it’s a sunset. Some days it’s a cool thing that happened. But mostly it’s food. I love food. 
• Just saying thank you when someone did me a solid or helped me out. And meaning it. 

Some things I’m going to do on a more regular basis are: 

• Write gratitude letters. 
• Perform a service that will benefit society. It could be as little as picking up trash around my neighborhood.
• Practicing mindfulness and meditation, and being present.  
• When I pray, remember to thank God for the blessings in my life.
• Write a gratitude list. 

I don’t know why, but gratitude often seems lame to me. Not as bad as positive affirmations. But it feels childish and often insincere. However, if I’m truly alive, I think I will naturally have gratitude, and it won’t be such a chore. I will live in gratitude and will make grateful actions. But for now, I’m going to have to fake it till I make it.