Today in group, we learned about thought diffusion. It’s the techniques I can use to separate myself from my disturbing thoughts. I don’t think that much, but when I do, it tends to be disturbing. Thankfully, my medications slow my thoughts down. It allows me to be more present in the moment. If it weren’t for that, my thoughts would completely consume me. When my thoughts are racing, there are so many that I can’t even keep track of the individual thoughts. Similarly, when I’m in a depressed episode, I have unhealthy rumination where I latch onto one thought and repeat it over and over while it destroys me. 

The techniques for thought diffusion are very similar to how you deal with your thoughts in meditation. I can visualize my thoughts as a leaf on a stream, just watching them go by and not latching onto them. Or seeing them as clouds drifting in the wind. It makes the thoughts ethereal, almost nonexistent. It’s easy to separate the thoughts when they are seen this way. I have aphantasia, so these exercises can be difficult for me. Aphantasia is when you can’t visualize. I can still think of my thoughts as clouds or leaves, I just don’t have a “mind’s eye”. 

Another method is zooming out. Seeing your thoughts from an airplane or from space. I might try this; it will help me to distance myself from my thoughts. Then there is saying before the thought, “I’m having the thought that…” So if my thought is “I will fail.” I can think, “I’m having the thought that I will fail.” Then there is seeing the thoughts on a screen at a movie theater. Also saying the thought in a character’s voice or singing the thought in a silly voice, and also create distance. Thanking the mind for the thought can also help to separate the thought. 

It’s all well and good to know these techniques, but it’s another thing to practice them. In the moment of the disturbing thought, I don’t think to practice this. I think I need to practice these techniques on all thoughts, so I can practice them on the disturbing thoughts. I have more thoughts in the morning, so maybe practice this with morning meditation and be okay with my meditation being interrupted by thoughts. Use those morning thoughts to help make this second nature.