So I went to bed that night and didn’t fall asleep. I drank a beer and decided it wasn’t good so I left her home and headed out. I winded around the mountains to the west of Colorado Springs. I was driving around the mountains. It was still early spring and the mountains had a lot of snow on the sides of the road. I would run off the road into the snow banks and blast through them. My Xterra was heavy and the studded snow tires were very grippy and I could power through some seriously deep snow. Every now and then I would stop and aim my rifle at things. At one point I was aiming at some horses and a woman asked me to stop because it was scaring them. It was bold of her to go up to a stranger with a rifle. I’m surprised she didn’t call the police. I guess she could have because I didn’t stick around. 

I was heading back to Dutch John, so I was going that general direction but winding all over the place and driving like a mad man. I ended up stopping at a gas station and leaving my wallet with an old man with parkinsons. I couldn’t remember what I did with my wallet and after a long time in jail I realized I had left it with an old man with shaky hands. I told my sister that and she knew right away because it was where she would stop for gas and a snack when she would come to Brekenridge for my court. I guess you don’t know why I’m in court yet. We’ll get there very soon. 

I decided to stress test my SUV to determine its capabilities. I don’t really know why now. I was in the process of running it out of gas. The gas light came on at the top of Hoosier pass. I ran it from there to just past Brekenridge. Finally running completely out on the side of Hwy 9. I was blasting Johnny Cash the whole time. He sings to my soul, and it’s even more powerful when I’m insane. I have a compulsion to break my vehicles when I’m manic. So I snapped the shifter off. I thought I was a rogue warrior reborn. I had visions of past lives depicting battles and duels. I switched from being the king of the Jews to a highwayman. 

I put my empty rifle to my shoulder, aiming it at random objects at first. Then I turned it on random people driving by on the highway. I did this for what seemed like a long time, but I don’t have any concept of time when I’m stable. When I’m manic, I’m completely unaware of the passing of time. I don’t know why I was doing it, I just feel so relaxed when I’m breathing for shooting and concentrating only on the shot. This wasn’t the first time I aimed an empty rifle at people. It is the first time I let people see me doing it. When I was in Denver and feeling overwhelmed, I aimed at people from my downtown loft. Living in a big city was not good for my mental health. It’s so strange to be surrounded by people, yet feel so very alone. I guess I feel a lot of power when I do it. I feel such shame over this experience. Maybe I am a bad person. 

Eventually a police officer showed up. At this point I had put the rifle down and was pacing near my SUV. I was between my SUV and the highway. The cop had his pistol aimed at me. He ordered me to the other side of my SUV, but I wouldn’t comply. And I’m glad I didn’t because in his testimony he said he would have shot me if he wasn’t firing into traffic. My stereo was at full blast so I couldn’t hear him. He went to the other side of my vehicle because I was using the front of it as cover. He moved to keep an open shot. I opened the driver’s side door to turn off the radio. He testified I reached for the rifle, which I thought was a bold faced lie, however now I realize that he thought I was doing that when I tried to turn off the stereo. He almost shot me at this point, but didn’t because of the traffic. He testified that he had started his trigger pull. About this time three other cops arrived on the scene. He worked his way onto the same side of the vehicle as me. I remember him telling me to toss my hunting knife and I did. Two of the cops had pistols drawn and the female cop had a taser. They got me to the back of the SUV, and after what seemed like a long time, she ended up tasing me. I laid down, even though I felt like I could resist it, because I had read about a man in Southern Utah that got tased to death because he kept resisting so they kept tasing him. He was also manic and his wife was there trying to calm him down and begging the cops to stop. Sometimes when I’m out of control, manic, I have moments of clarity and know I need to stop. I think it is my guardian angels or God directing me. 

Between chemical spray and a taser, I’ll take the taser over the spray any day. So the police jumped on me, all knees and elbows. Their knees were on my neck and all over my body, it hurt so bad. I was resisting because it hurt so bad. It was everything they could do to hold me down. The paramedics showed up and gave me the booty juice in the form of ketamine. It didn’t take long, and I was out cold.