Medications are critical for bipolar disorder. With the serious and persistent mental illness I have, I can’t function without them. I’m hoping to reduce or eliminate a few meds, but right now I’m on 1200 mg lithium, 150mg lamictal, and a long-lasting injectable of abilify. I just started the long-lasting abilify shot. I also take 10mg zyprexa prn for mania. The reason my doctor wants me on the shot is that it will keep a more consistent level of abilify in my system. Instead of going up and down as the pills wear off. With the added benefit of not having to remember to take it to get the benefits. 

Then I’m on meds for my meds: lipitor, cozaar, and metformin. Lipitor is for high blood pressure. Cozaar is for high cholesterol. Metformin is for medication-induced weight gain. I may still have high blood pressure and cholesterol, but being obese certainly doesn’t help. And my obesity is a direct consequence of taking psychotropic medications. The times in the past that I’ve not taken them weight came down fast and stayed off. The medical community may not agree with my assessment. But it’s my body, and I know when I can’t lose weight and when I can. It could be that I have more energy without the meds and I’m burning more calories. 

Other than being a fat fuck I tolerate the medications well. I have more of a flat affect, but all in all, I don’t have many side effects. Even lithium doesn’t affect me too much. At first, my eyelid twitched, my hands had a tremor, and my mouth was perpetually dry. Now I just have dry mouth. Which makes me drink tons of water. Which is good with lithium since it is very hard on the kidneys. 

I should be thankful to be fat and sane. The miracle of modern medicine is truly amazing. 75 years ago, I would be either committed to a horrible place or get lobotomized. In that commitment, I would be fully insane. With medication, I have a chance to lead a, somewhat productive life.