My twin sister is called Unnamed, and I am Nameless. No one uses those names unless it’s official, we’re in trouble, or being mocked. My sister is Unna, and I am Nami. At 8 years of age, the All whispers the name of a child. He never whispered ours. Even if He did, we wouldn’t hear it. We hear vibrations with our ears, but not the communications of the All. I have no understanding of how people speak without the use of their mouths. In my 42 years, I have never heard the All. I have never heard or seen what another sees or hears. I can’t ask a mountain to show me the vast expanse it sees. The ocean has never told me what lies in its depths. A coyote has never told me a clever joke. A tree has never reviewed the history of its grove over its long life with me. I live in a vacuum with regard to the rest of existence. My family has tried to explain it to me. Unfortunately, it is like explaining color to a blind man who has only known darkness. 

From what I’ve been told, the communications from the All and His creations are not in words but in understanding. Not a perfect understanding, but understanding enough to translate the most general of meanings into words. The way I understand it is that every being emits a wave of energy, and they can adjust and attune it to communicate. I lack the ability, but I think of it like sound. Some voices are loud, some that are quiet. Some are high-pitched, and some are low. There are ears to hear the sound and vocal cords to speak the sound. The communications of all things human or not human may be hard to explain because words for the physical and spiritual are used interchangeably. Yes, I find it very difficult. When someone says, “Do you hear that?” I don’t know if it’s something I can hear or not. Respectively, do you see that? I have to ask with my eyes?

I am obsessed with the nature of this communication that I lack. I thought if I understood how it works, maybe I could heal my disability. I think I have finally come to the realization that I cannot. I have discovered many other amazing things in this pursuit of healing. Unna has been by my side in this pursuit. She has followed a path of spiritual awakening. It is odd Unna doesn’t have a spirit and yet she is trying to develop it. She believes her spirit is just dormant. I think she is delusional. I am self-aware of my lack of spirit. I have dedicated my life to the study the physical world. 

I have worked my whole life to make a device to cure my disability. I first went into the study of sound. I’ve learned that sound is a physical vibration. One that I can both feel with my body and my ears. I studied what objects make sound, and how they make sound. I had to start from scratch on my research. No one ever thought to study the way sound behaved. Sound for my people just was. 

Honestly the entire physical world has never undergone rigorous investigation. Most folks just ask any aspect of the All how it operates if they want to understand the physical world. The problem with this method of inquiry is the assumption that the we know the nature of ourselves. Be it you, me or a tree. I can’t see my eyes with my eyes. I can’t touch the tip of my finger with the tip of the same finger. I can’t hear my ears unless they are broken. I can’t taste my taste buds. I can’t smell my nose with my nose. Even the All can’t communicate the nature of all things, because it is all things.

Through my study of sound I found the following properties of sound waves. A physical object has to vibrate, and another object has to receive that vibration (like an ear) and it will vibrate as well. Sound is like a wave on the water, but sound moves in the same direction as the the wave of sound instead of perpendicular. So as water moves toward the shore the wave moves up and down. Sound on the other hand moves up and down in the same direction as it travels. While very fast sound is not instantaneous from source of vibration to reception. Through making very loud noises over great distance I have determined the speed of sound. Sound seems similar to the messages between All. It seems instantaneous though. The thing sending the communication creates an action and the receiver just “hears/sees” it. This has no measurable difference over great distances. 

It is my belief that creation adheres to patterns and these patterns can be understood through study and measurement. Being a heretic from birth I do not believe in the supernatural explanations given by the acolytes of the All. They teach that the All is above and beyond all things in His creation. I subscribe to the idea that if the All does exist, logically He can’t exist separate from the rest of the universe. He may be all of the universe, but He is not separate from it. 

Its odd that we use masculine pronouns when referencing the All. When I asked this question as a child I was told that the All has always been referred to as He. Sometimes I believe that there is no all-encompassing deity that dwells in everything. I mean, He doesn’t dwell in Unna or myself. There are people in my society that are delusional and psychotic. Maybe every single person, except Unna and me, are in a communal delusion that the All is real and He communicates with them. Same goes for speaking to rocks and other inanimate objects. It makes no sense to me that something that displays zero intelligence can create complex communications. Unna does not share this belief. 

While sitting in silence and contemplation trying to hear the All Unna asked me, “Nami how can you deny the existence of the All?” 

“How can you believe in something you have never experienced?” 

“Well Nami, every single person we know or have met attest to his presence. Who am I to say they are all lairs.” 

“I don’t think they are liars. I merely question their sanity. I have gone to great lengths to find the physical source of these communications and I’m beginning to come to the conclusion that there is no source. ” 

Unna looked at me with concern and confusion, “It just makes sense that we’re all connected and part of the All. It explains things so well.” 

“The most convenient explanation isn’t always correct Unna.”

“Maybe, you’re so certain there is no All because of our disability and your anger about being different.”

I walked out of our family’s great room, heading towards the entrance of our house. She was often infuriating. She was as intelligent as me and had the same facts but would draw completely different conclusions. I decided to give my mind a rest. If I kept this up it would consume me, so I thought I would do some physical labor. 

Chopping firewood was about as meditative as I got.